Yeah we still have no investigators, it's pretty depressing. Feels like I haven't taught in a long time. But oh well, I never wanted to teach people the gospel on my mission anyways...LOL. Actually though, it's been fine. I'm obviously in a weird place anyways on account of I'm leaving this Thursday morning to go back to Nauvoo. I would say it's a good time to go.
Of course, I've been processing my whole Arkansas experience trying to figure out and put into words exactly how I've grown and what I've learned. I really don't even know where to start because my growth has been overwhelming. Like, I thought I grew before but that was nothing. Now I feel like I've lived life. I can't even describe. I'm totally the same person obviously. But so so different. My understanding of everything is like a million billion times deeper. The words and concepts like "service," "repentance," "diligence," "motherhood," "God's love," and many other concepts, I'm sure, mean SO much more to me. Sorry I can't just give you my understanding of it. It comes with experience. I could have you read the same things I did but it wouldn't come off the same. Which has led me to realize that other people have known what I didn't know the whole time. And there's still so much more for me to discover. Part of me is thrilled at the possibilities, and the other part wants to live out my life in oblivion, frolicking on the beach and, more probably, becoming absorbed in tv series and shallow pleasures out of avoidance because it's just too much! Now I can only imagine if I didn't have the gospel. That kills me. The fact that people don't have the Gospel simply kills me.
Anyways.
Conference was good. Actually, Conference was unforgettable. To be honest, Saturday session was totally an "I'll probs appreciate that more when I read it," kind of thing. But Sunday, Dean came to church! And it created quite the scene here. First of all, we were scared to go into the building, and I feel very legitimate in that fear. Because I wasn't supposed to talk to him, but he was literally searching me out (like going from room to room and ignoring other missionaries' pleasantries), so we waited for the Elders (Udall and Boyer), who knew the situation to come escort us in. And actually it was super adorable. They acted like the secret service and circled around me and pretended to speak to each other over the radio. Too presh. Then I was placed at the very end of the row, close to the wall, with 5 other sister missionaries squishing me and staggering their positions so that Dean couldn't see me. Because he was constantly looking over and trying to see me. It was real! And he kept getting up and leaving the room and then coming back, and it was so weird. and then when the session was over (great session, by the way), he ran, before the elders could occupy him, and came from behind to ask when I was leaving and tell me goodbye. Then the elders plus our ward mission leader plus the bishop gave him a talk in a room and told him he couldn't talk to me. Yeah, that really happened. #thedrama
I was blessed to feel super peaceful the whole time, so it was all good. And now I won't have to deal with him again. But I brought this upon the ward and I feel so bad.
I actually freaked out big time when I thought back to last general conference and remembered all of us jittery Nauvoo sisters looking forward to the next general conference when we might actually have investigators there! And that whole time has passed now. Just like that. I've lived a million lifetimes in six months. And then I thought about next general conference, and I'll be home doing who knows what, and yeah, blows my mind.
The other missionaries just made fun of me for writing novels for an email. And I was like, "It's two paragraphs, guys." We all email together these days in the family history center. Me and Sister Wilkins and like 4 other elders. Fun times.
I'm excited to go back to Nauvoo and see everyone! I really am. I just love Nauvoo and even though we probably won't have much to do for a while, I'm still excited. I don't even care. (ha, right now). I'll figure out ways to be productive, and hopefully I'll appreciate it more than ever. I was totally way ahead of the President Uchtdorf gratitude game. Totally one of my goals this week. I need to appreciate Arkansas. And I need to appreciate Nauvoo.
And housekeeping stuff. I'm definitely going to have a shorter time emailing in Nauvoo. So I don't want you to cut down on your emails at all. But I'm just going to have to respond differently. like maybe through the normal mail. gross. or maybe I'll print off your lengthier emails and respond in the next week. I dunno. It'll work out. I'll see you guys soon enough anyways. And maybe I'll get better at journaling and just email you my journal entries, and be faster some how. By the grace of God.
Ok, Love you!
Love, Rachel
No comments:
Post a Comment