I love Nauvoo. I LOVE the senior missionaries. Last year it took me a while to get used to them. Now, it's literally like the best thing I've ever experienced. They are just like us but older and it's so fantastic. I highly appreciate the nuances of personality as displayed in senior missionaries, and the subtle humor--intended or not--kills me every time. I could go on. We've had a lot of time with these senior missionaries in the sights and hearing their life stories is like the joy of my existence. So many trials. So much faith! I look at trials differently now, since Arkansas. With less fear, and more understanding. I just appreciate Nauvoo so much these days.
I had to give a talk this Sunday on faith in Jesus Christ. Well, I was not overjoyed at this topic because it overwhelms me. And in the past, every time I've studied faith, I just psyche myself out and start to doubt my own faith (not like in the gospel, but just the power to make good things happen). For example, Enos saw the finger of God because of his faith. Have you seen the finger of God? I didn't think so! And then when you're in a pros mission and all these miracles are dependent on your faith and your leaders are like, "If you pray for baptisms, you'll have more success." And I'm like, "No duh, Einstein (Malcolm in the Middle reference), you think I don't want to bring souls unto Christ?" So then when they don't happen, it's like an obvious key indicator of lack of faith. Well, these were my feelings in the past.
So this is actually what I ended up talking about:
First, I told the story of when Sister Kim and I were being fed by the senior missionaries. The schedules had gotten messed up and we hadn't called them beforehand and we were really afraid they might have forgotten and just ordered us pizza. But we had been eating not well and we really wanted delicious homemade food. Sister Kim says (half) jokingly, "I have the faith. We will get good food. I have the faith." Then they remember and we got quality food and we had a good laugh about how our faith had gotten us there. Obviously, I say, you can't just "faith" your way into whatever you want. It's easy to see on a small scale with Sister Kim, where the stakes aren't high, but sometimes on a larger scale we feel like we're doing something wrong, like we don't have enough faith, if we can't see miracles.
Then I tell the story of the Duncan family from the Little Rock ward whose three year old son Ben has cancer, and then because of the chemo, his heart got messed up, and then his heart had to get better for them to even continue the chemo, and basically he's dying and there's not very much hope. And the whole stake is involved and every sacrament meeting, they pray for Ben, and even our fave recent convert, Maureen, would pray of her own accord for Ben to get his miracle soon. Well, the Bishop once asked the dad to bare his testimony in church and, among the things he said, the one that stood out to me was, "Faith is not dependent on outcomes." That's pretty intense for a father to say whose innocent son is dying.
Then I talked about how faith is simply acting upon things, the result of which you can't see. And how everything that seems unfair about life will be made fair through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And about how our faith is in Jesus Christ, etc. And then I shared this scripture: 2 Nephi 26
24 He doeth not aanything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he bloveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw call men unto him. Wherefore, he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation.
I then quoted Preach My Gospel about how faith is shown through repentance, obedience, and diligent service, which, I assured the whole group of largely missionaries, they were doing. So they have faith! I have faith!
And I didn't mean to tell you the whole talk exactly, but once I started I realized I had to finish.
Well, there were parts whilst I was talking where I literally blanked, which I don't usually do, and which is my worst fear. I stumbled along and felt like a fool. And I thought I would get shallow level, consolation talk acknowledgment afterwards, but you know what? People loved it. Even the seniors said it helped them. The seniors. And that is my testimony of how prayers are answered and how the Spirit really works. The Spirit apparently blurred over my awkward parts and drove the message into the heart of each person to help them with what they needed. Not to mention, through the process of planning the talk, the simple concept of faith was solidified in my heart.
Sorry, this was very long. And I don't know if the talk came across as strongly. Just be reassured that apparently it was effective.
I love you all!
Love, Rachel
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