A group of troubled male youths who go to a boarding school nearby came to the Visitor Center. This is exactly what I've always wanted. Direct contact with the people who need the gospel so immediately who are working on changing. And they're youths.
There were two kids who were quite open to talking. They didn't seem troubled at all. They were adorable. They were so open, and we pretty much had the first discussion. They were so pepared. I explained the sacredness of the temple. How in the temple we make promises/covenants and some people just aren't ready to make those. And some people wouldn't respect how sacred they are to us, and they totally understood. They were like "Yeah, you wouldn't want people making fun of something you cared about or not understanding." My heart sang.
After we had talked about a lot of facets of the church, they asked--wait for it--"but how do you know it's true?" The million dollar question! I'm so glad you asked!! I explained how I felt the Spirit when I prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true and asked them if they ever had a feeling that was overwhelming that they didn't make up on their own, and they totally had! One of them said "love." (Inward tears are now being shed.) They completely understood. I asked if they wanted a Book of Mormon and they said sure, but--don't get your hopes up--their leader guy said it was against school policy or something. :( They do have a lot of Mormons who work for the school though, I guess. Not to get to missionary on you guys, but no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing, so it's all going to be ok.
Which leads me to something else that I have come to realize.
I gave a talk in church on prayer this Sunday. I only had a mini-mental breakdown a few days before when I realized I had gathered oh so much personal experience material and yet had no thesis! Alas, I thought I had escaped from school, but it turns out that life is just one giant literary criticism essay. #Englishmajorsareimportant,ok?
The essential idea addressed was to those who feel their prayers aren't being answered. Yes, we all "know" that Heavenly Father answers prayers. But when you're going through a hard time, and he doesn't seem to be answering them, things seem a lot more bleak. I shared my experience with the temple. I had never felt that love for the temple as others always professed, and when I was endowed I continued to be confused and angsty about my lack of understanding slash testimony. I mean, if Heavenly Father could reach me anywhere, wouldn't it be the celestial room? So why wasn't I getting anything? Well, as I continued to go week after week, I got used to the routine and the angst kind of went away replaced with a "well, this is how it is and maybe one day I'll understand better." After a while, I was slowly growing to enjoy going to the temple (although nothing had really changed concerning my understanding) and I remember one day, I was just kind of lost in thought (non-spiritual, in particular. I think I was observing the carpet pattern) and as I kind of got out of my thought train, I realized that I had this overwhelming feeling of peace (that had snuck up on me--not all at once).
I gave a talk in church on prayer this Sunday. I only had a mini-mental breakdown a few days before when I realized I had gathered oh so much personal experience material and yet had no thesis! Alas, I thought I had escaped from school, but it turns out that life is just one giant literary criticism essay. #Englishmajorsareimportant,ok?
The essential idea addressed was to those who feel their prayers aren't being answered. Yes, we all "know" that Heavenly Father answers prayers. But when you're going through a hard time, and he doesn't seem to be answering them, things seem a lot more bleak. I shared my experience with the temple. I had never felt that love for the temple as others always professed, and when I was endowed I continued to be confused and angsty about my lack of understanding slash testimony. I mean, if Heavenly Father could reach me anywhere, wouldn't it be the celestial room? So why wasn't I getting anything? Well, as I continued to go week after week, I got used to the routine and the angst kind of went away replaced with a "well, this is how it is and maybe one day I'll understand better." After a while, I was slowly growing to enjoy going to the temple (although nothing had really changed concerning my understanding) and I remember one day, I was just kind of lost in thought (non-spiritual, in particular. I think I was observing the carpet pattern) and as I kind of got out of my thought train, I realized that I had this overwhelming feeling of peace (that had snuck up on me--not all at once).
Here is the scripture I shared:
1 Kings 19:11-12
11 And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:
11 And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:
12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a astill small bvoice.
The storm was in me! The earthquake was in me!
Heavenly Father could not take away my agency by forcing me to feel things that my brain just wouldn't allow. But as the storm in me subdued, He was able to reach me. And that is something I realized with my troubles last transfer as well. He is always there. And I don't blame myself in many instances. But He just has to reach me in the timing that I need. My testimony of that is so strong! And I think I've learned versions of this lessons a million times. Still working on it.
Anyways, I love you guys! Sister Newell and I have decided to shake things up and have planned outfit themes for the day. For example, Friday was polka dots. Saturday we were in our pioneer dresses at pioneer pastimes so the theme was pioneer children (we did braids). Yesterday, the day of my talk, was "Dress like you are talking in General Conference" Day (Sister Newell's brilliant idea), and today is Sister Streeter Day. We are wearing her reject clothing that she left here.
Missions are fun. Missions are hard. Missions are five million times worth it. (I am sure I will need reminding of that down the road.)
Love, Sister Rachel
Love, Sister Rachel
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