I am in particularly good spirits today! I've been feeling in a fog of weird emotions for quite some time now (imagine PMSing for a month, where normally, you're like, "I think I have depression" and then two hours later you're like, "Nope, I'm good," except for off and on for a month) but I really think I'm turning a corner and am going to be fine. There were events leading up to this, and particularly this week. I think the pivotal moment was actually yesterday when we were practicing singing "We'll Bring the World His Truth" (Army of Helaman song) and I just felt so many things. I mean, yes this song is normally good, but this was a particularly poignant moment. I was able to get those feelings and desires that I had originally in going on a mission, and I was able to remember all the reasons that I want to be here and am so lucky and excited for it.
This leads me to the concept of God answering prayers, on account of me not feeling like my prayers were being answered, or like I could really feel God's presence/love/etc., for some time. As we've been on chat during the evenings, these people keep wanting immediate answers that will quickly persuade them to (or against) Mormonism, and that's just not how it works. I have, and am learning, that God answers our prayers in the time that is best for us. Yes, getting an initial answer right away would be "easier" except it wouldn't be at all, because the next time we would have the same amount of sufficiency at being able to learn (which wouldn't be very much) and we would be weaker for it, not as spiritually strong. I know Heavenly Father does answer prayers. I know it. And I know He does it in the time and in the way that is perfect for us. If we knew better (but we can't because we literally don't have that God-ly perspective on our lives), we wouldn't want our answers to be given to us on a silver platter. We'd keep needing platters, and we wouldn't have faith in anything.
Anyways. Fun surprise yesterday, that's for sure. We were in Carthage (because on Sundays the Carthage sisters come to Nauvoo and some of us go up there) and Sis. Garner and I are outside of the jail giving the beginning part of the tour. Sister Garner is talking and who do I see walking out of the parking lot? Opa and Sue! Well, I was like a deer in the headlights. Sister Garner finished talking and was waiting for me to say something, and I just turned to her (in front of the tour), dazed, and said, "My grandparents are here. . . "
Luckily, after I gave the tour, I was able to partner up with the Senior Sister who was giving their tour. Imagine teaching and testifying about the martyrdom of Joseph Smith in front of your non-Mormon grandparents. Fun times!
It was so cool to see them and have this surreal combining of real world and mission world.
Also, we had a special tour/testimony meeting in Carthage on the day of the commemoration of the martyrdom that was really powerful.
Also, I talked with this sweet kid from Taiwan for quite some time, and he took a picture with me. Presh! Brings me back to the chinese foreign exchange student days. I guess you could say I was prepared for him.
Also, I am wearing contacts for the first time today. Hallelujah.
Ok, I love you! And I'm excited to see you!!
Love, Rachel
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