Literally as I was going onto the computer I realized I hadn't thought of anything. . . anything about this week. Really lame, I'm sorry.
Well, the pageant(s!) started and it's good times. Actually, sometimes it's kind of awkward on pageant grounds, to be honest. People just want to have fun and social-talk. I'm not about that meaningless chit chat these days.
Had our debut on the stage last night, and again, as much as I'm the star of the show, it's actually kind of awkward to be up there. But I know it's touching because the missionary spirit is way real, so I'll get used to my role.
Tonight is transfers. That means that my preparation day might change. So, to be safe, you may just want to email on Sunday/Monday in case it goes back (and just keep emailing every day thereafter to update...hehe). I think I'm going back to Nauvoo. . .can't be sure of course. I had to ask myself. . .to make transfer guesses or to not make transfer guesses? (sometimes I feel weird trying to play God and put people where I think they should be) But I thought, hey, it's my last transfer to make transfer guesses, so I decided to go all out. I've considered all the options. And I'm actually not too attached to any notion, really. It's whatever at this point.
So in a trunky-not-trunky kind of way, I started making a list of all the things I've gained a testimony/true understanding of on my mission (can still be added on to!). It's a dang long and impressive list. What would I do without my mission? And interestingly, yes, there were several things that I gained specifically from life experiences directly related to my mission. But many things were just timing that came from the spirit through study, at just the right time, and were related to my mission in a roundabout way. So I guess what I'm saying is, I have hope for the future for my spiritual growth. And that true, intent gospel study makes a world of difference. And I mean, a world.
It's interesting how I've had to jump start my inner desire over and over again in order to actually be motivated in the work and not fall asleep during studies. Like, it's had to happen all the time. Which is why a mission has been so good for me because you have to study! And especially Nauvoo, when it's slow and you can't just sleep all day from lack of motivation to study. It's got to mean something to you. And a lot of that is just gritting it out until it does start to mean something.
I actually talked to this super awesome 14 year old at Carthage the other week who was highly intelligent but admitted that he doesn't apply himself (and that's why he thinks he won't get into BYU--it was part of a bigger conversation). I actually told him to read his scriptures consistently (in a non-condescending way). Because it's something you have to get meaning out of to make it worth it, and you know it's worth it, so it's a true exercise in self-discipline and patience that gets long term results. And he totally was going to do it! He seemed really enthusiastic about it. Also, when you read the scriptures, you're feeling the spirit, remembering who you are, your eternal purpose, the eternal perspective in general, what's important, and you really are able to prioritize things better in your life.
Ok, well, I love you guys! We'll see what this last transfer brings and what state I'm in next p-day!
Love, Rachel
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