Family!!
Agghhh I'm in the MTC. Super weird. It's like I've lived a million lifetimes, so I'll try to not get ridiculous here with the length/rambling.
The first day was kind of the living worst. It wasn't even the schedule, the never ending hours, anything like that. It was more of the social scene. I am in a room with 5 girls. Enough said? We are all going to Nauvoo but only 4 of us are in the same district (it's confusing. . . I don't quite get the district/zone ish). All the girls in my room had met each other through facebook previously and had all met up and gone to the temple and were buddy buddy. My companion is Sister Holt (alas, not THE Hayley Newell, although she is in my room) and she seemed nice, but I was feeling very left out of the group. And when I get left out of a group, I'm going to be more quiet (duh), and when I'm more quiet, I'm going to be more left out of the group. It's a vish cycle.
Plus, I have avoided groups of girls as it is, and these ones were overwhelmingly. . . girly. And as "high maintenance" as I am, I did not feel like I could relate to much of their girliness. And it was like, oh great, these are the girls I'm going to be with forever in Nauvoo.
BUT . . . things are SO MUCH BETTER now. On Thursday we had, well we had lots of things--honestly as much as you hear that the days are long (and they are) it's not as bad as that girls camp feel--but one of things was personal study around 3pm, which is obviously nap time. After struggling to really connect with anything I was reading or even really knowing what to read, we had companionship study. Sister Holt admitted that she was struggling, and then we had a real heart to heart. I told her I think we should write down our personal goals and then goals we want as a companionship, and then we could talk about it (Surprise, that's actually a thing, and it's called "Companion inventory," but I guess I was just ahead of the game). That was when I think she discovered that she wanted to be my companion more. She stopped just being nice to me as my companion and saw me more as an actual companion, and it's been good ever since. We probably have a lot of differences, but I think the important thing between us is that we have a really similar work ethic, the same kind of intensity and drive (and hello, is that not likeeverything?). It was so great to talk about our spirituality and our desire to increase our spirituality. The Spirit was so strong in the room and then we were able to include the Elders in our conversation and for the first time they changed from the quiet guys they were, and now they are fast becoming our buddies. All because of that Spiritual conversation Sister Holt and I had.
So that was Thursday, when I stopped feeling like this [the MTC] was going to be the worst thing ever and realized that not only could I survive, but I could be happy. Then yesterday was even better. Obviously, the every day is not just fun city central. But there are just ways in which your testimony grows so much and you learn a lot. After I got over the having-to-be-around-lots-of-girls thing, I was feeling a lot better, but still kind of like "well, this has been good, but I'm gonna peace out, go back to my real apartment and see y'all tomorrow. If I feel like it."
And I was getting frustrated with the lessons on Friday. We were spending a million hours on the Doctrine of Christ, which is baptism, repentance, Gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. Not to be sacriligious, but I was kind of like . . . lets cut all this down to a few key sentences, kay? I feel like I have more questions than can ever be answered by this never-ending lesson.
But then we learned about prayer and, wait for it, my mind was blown. About prayer, right? How much more can there be to learn. I wish I could convey what I learned in a way that would also rock your world but I don't know if that's possible. Just read the Bible Dictionary entry on prayer.
Then we practiced teaching it. Sister Holt and I were trading off and pretending to be investigators and it became powerful. Dang it, I can already tell you won't be able to understand and I so badly wish you could. But it is crazy powerful being a missionary. I feel it when the Spirit is with me and I'm teaching and I feel it when the Spirit is with Sister Holt and she's teaching.
I was pretending to be a conglomeration of a few people who understand church things but don't necessarily feel it. . . (wink, wink). And then she invited me to pray (it was all about the doctrine of prayer) and I just started crying during the prayer. And it was like all my concerns were resolved--with myself personally, and as a *fake* investigator. And then I taught her and the Spirit told me things to say and she was feeling the Spirit very strongly too and it was so strong int the room. Another Elder also had some silent tears as he was being taught too.
Summary: The days are long. I am living with lots of (girly) girls, which is not my favorite set up. But I am learning to really appreciate them on an individual level, if not in a group. And I like them a lot more than at first. It's probably good for me. No, honestly, I like them a lot more. And Sister Holt, despite my initial reservations, is turning out to be a great first companion. We are on our way to becoming a spiritual powerhouse companionship.
I love you all. Will write more details in personal letters. Sorry, that's so lame. But they only give us a half hour. A HALF HOUR.
Love, Sister Ross
P.S. the level of stealth that was me receiving my watch was level 5 million. I wanted to cry with how stealthy it was.
